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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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What do you call the king of vegetables?
Elvis Parsley.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
He got caught peeping on a test.
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Went to the corner shop -
bought 4 corners.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?
They both whine alot!
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What letter can you drink?
T (tea)
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What does the winner of the race lose?
His breath.
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