Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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