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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?
"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
To get to the other size!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?
Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?
Because it's two tired!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check
It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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