How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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