How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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