How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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