How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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