I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?


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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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