Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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