Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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