Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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