What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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