What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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