What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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