What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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