What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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