What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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