What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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