What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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