What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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