What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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