What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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