What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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