What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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