Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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