What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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