What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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