What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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