Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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