What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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