What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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