Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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