How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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