What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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