A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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