What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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