What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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