What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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