How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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