Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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