What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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