I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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