Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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