Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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