Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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