How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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