What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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