I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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