I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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