How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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