Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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