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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?
A road hog.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A sandwich!
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What did the painter say to the wall?
I got you covered.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?
The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
You crack me up!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
He was in shock for a week.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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