Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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