What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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