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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?
Sue.
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What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.
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Went to the corner shop -
bought 4 corners.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a mad elephant?
An earthquake.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A dino-sewer.
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