How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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