Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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