What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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