Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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