What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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