What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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