Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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