Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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