How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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