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Which reindeer likes to clean?
Comet
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
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