What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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