How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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