What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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