What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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