Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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