What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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