Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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