How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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