How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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