How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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