Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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