Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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