A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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