Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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