Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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