What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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