What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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