Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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