What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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