How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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