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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A natural major.
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
Bison
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