Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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