What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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