Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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