What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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