How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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