What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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