What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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