What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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