Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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