What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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