A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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