How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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