How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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