A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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