What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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