How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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