I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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