What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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