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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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What do Santa's elves drive?
Minivans.
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What kind of flower has lips?
Two-lips!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A buck.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?
A scale.
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What do you call a mad elephant?
An earthquake.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
[De-Calf-Inated]
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