So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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