What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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