What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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