What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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