What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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