What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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