Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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