Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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