Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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