How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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