Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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