Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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