What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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