How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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