What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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