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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers.
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