A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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