What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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