What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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