I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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