I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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