What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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