How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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