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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer
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When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin sea.
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
Senator.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a violin
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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