What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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