Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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