What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

Itís Hans free.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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