I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!

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