What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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