What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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