Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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