What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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