I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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