I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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