I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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