I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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