I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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