I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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