I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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