I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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