I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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