I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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