I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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