I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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