I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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