I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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