I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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