I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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