A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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