A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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