A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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