A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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