A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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