A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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