A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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