A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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