A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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