A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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