A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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