A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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