A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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