A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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