A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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