A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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