A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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