A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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