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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand
and says make me one with everything.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?
Porkchop
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
A Moo-sician!
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What do lawyers wear in court?
Lawsuits.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?
A jellycopter
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How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the g
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What goes up and down but never moves?
Stairs.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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