A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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