A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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