A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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