A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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