A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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