A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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