A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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