A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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