A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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