A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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