A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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