A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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