A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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