A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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