A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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