A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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