A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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