A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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