A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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