A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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