A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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