A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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