A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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