A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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