A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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