A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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