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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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What do Santa's elves drink?
Minnesoda.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What's a light bulb?
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?
News briefs.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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