A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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