A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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