A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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