A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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