A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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