A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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