A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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