A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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