A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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