A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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