A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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