A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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