A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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