A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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