A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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