A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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