A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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