A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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