A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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