A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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