A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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