A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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