A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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