A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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