A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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