A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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