A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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