A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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