A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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