A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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