A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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