A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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