A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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