A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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