A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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