A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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