A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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