A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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