A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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