A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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