A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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