A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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