A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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