A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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