A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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