A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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