A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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