A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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