A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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