A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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