A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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