A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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