A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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