A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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