A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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