A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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