A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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