A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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