A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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