A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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