A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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