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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,
What a turtle disaster
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A watch dog.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A tattoo.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutes playing in unison.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?
Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?
A bed.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept.
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