A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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