A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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