A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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