A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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