A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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