A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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