A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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