A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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