A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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