A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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