A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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