A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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