A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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