A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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