A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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