A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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