A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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