A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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