A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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