A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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