A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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