A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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