A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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