A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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