A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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