A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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