A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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