A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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