A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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