A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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