A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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