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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,
What a turtle disaster
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?
With igloo!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?
It was in a jam!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
Get out of my sun!
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