A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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