A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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