A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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