A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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