A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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