A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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