A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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