A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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