A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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