A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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