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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.
So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?
It ran out of juice!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.
So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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