A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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