A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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