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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,
and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?
He wanted his soil to be rich!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?
Because it's two tired!
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