A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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