A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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