A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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