A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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