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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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When do you go on red and stop on green?
When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
You crack me up!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!
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