A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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