A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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