A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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