A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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