A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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