A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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