A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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