A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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