A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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