A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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