A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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