A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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