A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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