A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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