A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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