A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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