A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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