A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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