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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a mad elephant?
An earthquake.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?
I'm all spaced out!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.
but enough about Kanye West.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?
Because he wears a size "S".
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