A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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