A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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