A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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