A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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