A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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