A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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