A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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