A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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