A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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