A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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