A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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