A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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