A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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