A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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