A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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