A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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