A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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