A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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