A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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