A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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