A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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