A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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