A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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