A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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