A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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