A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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