A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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