A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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