A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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