A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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