A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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