A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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