A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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