A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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