A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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