A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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