A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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