A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.

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