A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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