A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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