A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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