A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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