A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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