A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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