A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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