A seal walks into a club...
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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