A seal walks into a club...
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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