A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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