A seal walks into a club...
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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