A seal walks into a club...
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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