A seal walks into a club...
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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