A seal walks into a club...
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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