A seal walks into a club...
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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