A seal walks into a club...
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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