A seal walks into a club...
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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