A seal walks into a club...
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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