A seal walks into a club...
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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