A seal walks into a club...
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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