A seal walks into a club...
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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