A seal walks into a club...
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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