A seal walks into a club...
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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