A seal walks into a club...
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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