A seal walks into a club...
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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