A seal walks into a club...
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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