A seal walks into a club...
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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