A seal walks into a club...
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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