A seal walks into a club...



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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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