A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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