A seal walks into a club...
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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