A seal walks into a club...



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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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