A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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