A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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