A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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