A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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