A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.




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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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