Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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