Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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