Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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