Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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