Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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