Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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