And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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