And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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