And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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