And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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