And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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