And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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