And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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