And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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