And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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