Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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