Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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