Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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