Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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