Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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