Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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