Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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