Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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