Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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