Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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