Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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