Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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