Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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