Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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