Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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