Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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