Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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