Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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