Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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