Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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