Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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