Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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