Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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