Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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