Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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