Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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