Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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