Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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