Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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