Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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