Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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