Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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