Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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