Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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