Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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