Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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