Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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