Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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