Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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