Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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