Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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