Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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