Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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