Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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