Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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