Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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