Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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