Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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