Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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