Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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