Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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