Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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