Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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