Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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