Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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