Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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