Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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