Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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