Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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