Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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