Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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