Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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