Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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