Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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