Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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