Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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