Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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