Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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