Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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