Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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