Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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