Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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