Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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