Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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