Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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