Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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