Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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