Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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