Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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