Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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