Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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