Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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