Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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