Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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