Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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