Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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