Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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