Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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