Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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