Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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