Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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