Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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