Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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