Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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