Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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