Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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