Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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