Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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