Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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