Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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