Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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