Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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