Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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