Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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