Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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