Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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