Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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