Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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