Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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