Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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