Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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