Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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