Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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