Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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