Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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