Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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