Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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