Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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