Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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