Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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