Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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