Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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