Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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