Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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