Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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