Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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