Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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