Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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