Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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