Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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