Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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