Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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