Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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