Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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