Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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