Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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