Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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