Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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