Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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