Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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