Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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