Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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