Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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