Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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