Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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