Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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