Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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