Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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