Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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