Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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