Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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