Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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