Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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